Starting this journey, a little less than a year ago, was a labor of love, an act of desperation and totally came out of no where. It was for one reason, one person…my son. A beautiful, kind little boy, who has had several struggles since birth and was facing his latest battle… losing his smile. That’s what they said. Everyone who knew him…”We see a little improvement with this and that but not enough. And he’s not the same, that genuine happiness is not there. . His smile is not the same. It hasn’t been the same.”

And it wasn’t. Neither was his laughter. With each day that passed, and each thing we tried, we saw no improvement in self management but his smile & laughter would fade a bit more. They became forced the few times they even made an appearance.  I needed change for him and I needed it asap.  I needed him to be able to manage himself in daily tasks and not be distracting or disrupting but at what cost? Was I willing to rob him of truly feeling his emotions to their fullest extent in order for him to be compliant? How could I help him function in everyday life and have a future without altering who he truly was. Thats a fine line to walk, one which many before him had battled with and fallen from. After years of exhausting mainstream concepts I began to explore alternative ways to support him, holistic ways. And although I did not try everything or may never try everything I was open to trying many things.

I started with the basics: diet and nutrition. And then I tried latest trend: essential oils. Now I had always been open to holistic concepts, I have salt lamps, crystals, meditation apps. I’m Roman Catholic but I have as many Buddas and Lucky Cats throughout my home as Jesuses. I always went out of my way to give my a kids better diet (or so I thought),  but I never really committed to a big transformation of our lifestyle. It was just too big of an undertaking and the thought of the effort to implement it was just way too much to add to our already full plates. But desperate times call for desperate measures. Like a mama bear protecting her cub I fiercely went on a journey to embrace the change.

Quickly I began to see a difference. The changes I saw were not simply in his life but in all of our lives. And it was so big, so great I knew I needed to make changes for all of us across the board. Instantly I began to make changes everyday, some smaller some bigger, but regardless of size they moved us forward and onto a path that we had been searching for and only now finally found.

I started incorporating a lifestyle that was supported by holistic and wellness practices on a regular basis. What’s started with removing a few dyes, going organic and applying some essential oils, quickly turned into removing 90% of the plastic from my kitchen, going 90% organic, going as preservative free & dye free as possible, making DIY self care items for my family, not leaving the house without our essential oils, starting each day with affirmations and ending our nights with gratitudes. See it wasn’t one thing that was supporting these positive changes, it was everything. It was stopping and questioning what we were eating, bathing ourselves with, where our mindsets were. Up to this point we were your typical, on the go, overscheduled, the package looks “green”, all American family. We were hooked up and wired to every device and we simply took what we were given, if it looked ok at first glance. Now I’m not saying that my son’s challenges are gone, far from it. He still has a lot of work to do. These are challenges that have been there since birth and they will most likely be there throughout his life. That will not change but now he had better tools to help him manage those challenges. His body and mind were being decluttered, detoxed and were beginning to function as they always should have.

The journey down the rabbit hole was fast, but the more holistic I became the more wellness I incorporated into our lives and it brought positivity on many levels. I encountered pats on the back, sheer happiness, questions, skeptics, even some haters. I was crunchy but glamourous. A little crunch here and there but was still holding onto my hair dye. (And as of now I still am!) I encountered groups that accepted me and groups that didn’t because I was not crunchy enough. Then it really hit me. The reason why I did not embrace these changes earlier was fear and the extreme.

The fear was the unknown, the where do I start, the OMG are we going to be in the poor house to go organic?! The extreme was the idea that if I was going to put my toe in the water I had to dive all in. That if I went organic it was ALL organic, that if I went dye free it was ALL dye free, etc. etc. It meant that if I said no at home we had to say no everywhere. Birthday parties, play dates, Disney World. It also meant that any other caregiver in my boys lives would also have to be super strict and adhere to this policy. Now with an overindulgent mother who relishes in the idea of spoiling her grandchildren and an Italian mother-in-law who takes pride in the loving rituals  and comfort of food, feeding them pasta, Italian cookies and cakes you know I had a better chance of winning the lottery. Granted they did make changes…eventually… but it was not me asking or forcing the change. It was them seeing the change in all of us.

When I thought about sharing these changes with others. I didn’t want to be an extremist. I’m not an extremist. I’m all about what works. If it works great. If it doesn’t, on to the next thing. If it works for you but not for me, no problem. Just find what works and run with it. I’m not here to criticize or judge. I believe in western medicine when needed (I took antibiotics twice this year!) but also embrace things like acupuncture and chiropractic treatment. I was working mom, a stay at home mom and now a crazy combination of both. I believe we all have our own beliefs, baggage, limitations & dreams and we all need to be tolerant and understanding of the first three and supportive of the latter. Simply put, I’m a mom on a mission of giving my family happiness & health by embracing a holistic life & gifting it forward.  Because it was gift to me. To keep it silent…would be selfish.